This is gonna be a heavy one
Now Playing: Collective Soul - The World I know
Okay, so I have been reluctant to address the whole terrorism/security wall/danger of living in Israel thing since I've been here. Maybe, I'm realizing now, it's because it wasn't real to me. Sure, I can see the security fence from my bedroom window (even thought it's far off in the distance) and I was here when there was a bomb in Tel Aviv....but today, it was the first time I've experienced anything that really frightened me. About 20 of my classmates, Associate Dean of HUC Shaul Fineberg, and I were having a spirituality session in the little garden behind the academic courtyard when all of a sudden we heard a huge BOOM!!! At first, I almost thought nothing of it. But we had been in the middle of reading something, and everyone fell silent and sort of looked at each other for a moment. It was a very loud noise, and clearly very close to us. I can't describe to you the way I felt. My body went rigid, I felt panic and fear...and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Shaul, who happened to be sitting next to me, said it sounded like a car had maybe backfired and we shouldn't worry...but I don't think anyone believed him. Since we were wrapping things up, I told myself to hold it together until we were finished. And I did..although a few classmates of mine also came up to me and told me that it scared them too...good to know I wasn't alone. It really shook me up.
On the way out, we found out that they had decided to blow up a suspicious object right outside of HUC. Somebody had left some t'fillan (prayer garments) hanging on the fence outside HUC...which is sort of strange...and they just wanted to be sure that it was nothing. On the way home, I finally broke down a little bit. I'm just not used to this being a part of my everyday life. I know that they blow up suspicious objects here, but I've never been so close to it before. I know that there is a constant threat here everyday..and just because nothing has happened doesn't mean that I am safe. I really don't mean to be scaring anybody at all right now...but i just had to write about this...it's just nothing i have ever experienced before. But I'm fine, everyone's all fine...only the t'fillan were truly hurt by the explosion.
I just needed to share, I suppose..my new realities. Hopefully, I won't have more posts like these in the next year, and this will become but a memory.
It's just hard right now, in the moment, to not be so affected by it. But, this too shall pass. I am lucky that I have the life that I have, my health, a wonderful life here rich with friends who are becoming like family to me and incredible experiences that I've already had a taste of, and that I know await me during this next year.
On that note, I need to go take a nap so I can hang out with all my friends tonight!!!! Have a good day..and thanks for listening (reading). :)