I miss my brother :(
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Shower the People you love with love - James Taylor
My brother just left, and it was hard saying goodbye to him. I mean, i've had to say a log of goodbye's in the past year, and i'm getting pretty good at it. But there is something hard about saying goodbye to your brother who came all the way to Israel to visit you for two weeks. It was his first time here, and I tried to make it memorable and enjoyable for him. I know that because I was in school, I wasn't able to do as much with him, all day every day, as I would have liked. But we did some traveling, we did the Jerusalem hot spots, he got to meet and spend time with my friends, see where i go to school and what i do in school, and understand what my life is like here this year. Part of me wishes that more of my family could have that opportunity too, but I'm glad that at least he was able to be here with me. And even though I am so fortunate to have him visit, it's really hard having to say goodbye too. And even though I will see him again at home in like literally 3 days, it won't be the same. His girlfriend will be there, our parents, and it will be totally different dynamics...and i'll only get to see him for about a day or so. But it won't be the same.
I guess I'm really lucky to have such a nice brother. He left his new girlfriend to spend two weeks with me, which i know was hard on him, and we had a great time. And he's a great big brother...I'm very lucky.

I'm also probably super emotional right now because of all the stress in life. It's finals week and on Wednesday I am returning to the states for 2 weeks to spend time with my family. So not only do I have to worry about packing, and getting ready to leave for break, but I also have to deal with finals before all of it. And I'm pretty safe in assuming that I'm not the only one who feels slightly overwhelmed right now. We've never taken finals at this institution and a lot of us overachievers feel unprepared and overworked and just plain nervous. But, we are doing out best.


I think my favorite part of his visit was when he and I would lay on my bed and bring my laptop into the bed and watch "Sports Night" DVDs while I would do homework, or study, or before I went to bed. We would just hang around and do what we do best....hang out with and laugh with each other. I've missed that.
I also got a chance to see parts of Israel that had become old habit to me, and see them through new eyes. I was able to be a semi-tour-guide-sister and I was able to do new and cool things. I guess the conclusion is...more people need to come and visit me!!!!

Okay, I would love to sit around and cry more about my brother's departure, but unfortunately, I need to go be productive. Good luck with finals this week, everyone, and those of you on break or on holiday or whatever...enjoy your time off and your time with loved ones!!!!! I Know i did!!!!

The week thusfar
Now Playing: It was You - D. Nichols
My brother and I went to the Israel Museum on Friday and saw the Dead Sea Scrolls in the Shrine of the Book. Then we went to Kol Hanishama for services Friday night. It was a lovely day all in all. Then Saturday, we woke up and went to services at HUC. I chanted Torah for the first time ever, and it was a lot of fun. I mean, I was a bit nervous, but it was cool having Jeffrey up there, saying the blessings before and after my Torah portion. And I worked hard on it these past few weeks, so it was nice to see that I was able to do a good job with it. But don't worry if you missed it...I have the whole rest of my life to chant Torah for you!!!!
Yesterday, I decided that it would be good for me to go to class, since it's the last week of the semester and all, and so I got some work done and went to class and Jeffrey met me for Cantillation class and then we went and worked out in the bomb shelter. After that, we went to eat at Little Italy and I came home, wrote a paper and crashed. I've been so tired lately. It's probably a combination of having been sick, lots of stress at the end of the semester, and a true lack of sleep over the past week or so.
Today I have lots of class again today, and I think Jeffrey is just going to bum around the Old City, and maybe go on a walking tour or something. I'm not done with class until 6pm tonight, and then I have tons of homework (Mondays are always hard) so it won't be too exciting for Jeffrey....but some days are just like that. I think he's going to go with me to classes tomorrow and then we may head off to Ben Yehuda street and teh Shuk and whatnot. On Wednesday, we are probably going to go to Yad Vashem and Har Herzl (although it's reallyt cold, so we'll see...) So we're just having busy little lives here!!! But it's been a lot of fun so far, and I'm getting a lot of my work done now too...or at least trying!!!! Have a great week everyone!!!! :)

My brother is in the HOLY LAND!!!!
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Cranberries- Ode to my family
It's true...MY BROTHER IS HERE IN ISRAEL!!!!! And it's so nice to have him here. It's really a great feeling just having him here in my apartment, being at school with me, meeting all my friends, and getting a real glimpse at what my life this year is like.

Tuesday morning my friend Lisa and her mom and I drove to the airport (yup...I rented a car!!!) to pick Jeffrey up. The new terminal is beautiful and it was great getting to meet him at the airport. Then we all drove down to Masada and the Dead Sea. The Judean desert is absoutely beautiful!!!! We also had to stop in the middle of the road because goats were crossing with their shephard. It was a little surreal. When we got to Masada we hiked up the Roman Ramp and spent about an hour on top looking at the ruins and enjoying the scenery. Then we decided to go have lunch in Arad and Jeffrey had his first official falafel...the boy just loves it!!! At least one of us does....
By the time we got to the Dead Sea, it was about 4pm and the sun was beginning to set. Now, despite what many people told me....the weather and the water was freezing!!!! But all four of us got in anyway!!!! We weren't in for too long, but it was really fun for the 10 minutes we were in.
Yesterday I drove Lisa's mom to the airport and then Jeffrey and I came home and went grocery shopping like true Israelis (meaning we had a car with us, instead of having to take a cab or walking with a million groceries). That was so liberating, and it made me feel like a civilized person who truly lives in Israel!!! Then, last night we went to my professor Paul's house to participate in a simulation game for my Contemporary Middle Easter culture class....so fascinating and fun!!!
This morning I let Jeffrey sleep in while I took a hebrew test, and then he met me at school and we walked to the Old City. We went though the Armenian and Jewish quarters and then down to the Western Wall. It was so cool to see all of my brother's reactions to everything, including the wall. There is really nothing like that first time of being there, and it's nice to be reminded of that every once in a while. I think tonight we are going to go out and do our usual Thursday night activities which include dinner, going to Zolly's (bar), and then maybe Heleni's for dancing or a movie or something. I gotta show my brother how rabbincal students have fun!!!!!

I've realized a lot of new and interesting things since having a visitor here. For one, I really do know a lot of hebrew and can converse very well and translate very well for him. I'm so used to being with others that speak at least some hebrew, but it's a totally different experience being in this country with someone who really doesn't understand any of it. It's really nice to feel like i have such a grasp of the language that I can be a good translator..YAY HEBREW!!!! Second, driving here was so much fun!!!! I mean, israeli's are some of the craziest drivers I have EVER encountered and they will come all up in your lane (even when you are in your own lane) but it's really given me a sense of normalcy here. Driving back from Tel Aviv yesterday morning, just me and the highway, and my cd's was so nice and very relaxing...and totally liberating!!! It made me feel like I really live here. And on the way home from the Dead Sea, I only got lost once...but don't worry, we turned back before we got too close to the West Bank. I think I might rent a car more often!!!!!!
Third, I haven't been to class so much in the last few days, but that's okay. My semester is almost over, and a lot of my work is done, so it's not such a big deal. Next week I'll be in class more, and I'll book more independent tours for Jeffrey so he can get to see more of the city than I really have time or knowledge to show him. Finally, I realized that I really do know a lot about this city, and I'm learning so much about Judaism and about Israel and about being a rabbinical student, and I think these changes are pretty evident. It's nice to get have an outside indicator of how I'm growing, maturing, what I'm learning, and what I'm doing.
Okay, well I think we are going to nap a bit before we go out tonight. I'll try to update again in the next few days. For now, just go check out our pictures from the past few days (we have lots!!!) and have a great day!!!! :)

Channukah Break
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Tonic- If you could only see
It's officially my Channukah break. I'm officially on paper lockdown. I'm also officially sick. And my brother officially comes in 6 days!!!!! So I need to get some stuff done over this break. Luckily, I've written most of my Israel Seminar paper today, and I just have to go back to the library tomorrow to research books for my liturgy bibliography paper, and get some other stuff done. So, it's not so much of a break, as it is time for me to catch up or work ahead so I don't get bogged down with stuff while Jeffrey is here. That, and I need to rest. I will NOT be sick when he is here. Besides, it's just a cough....that'll clear up in no time, right???? RIGHT!!!! I'm intent on being productive in all of my endeavors during this break!!!

Anyway, Happy Channukah to those celebrating!!!!

This fainting thing has got to stop
Now Playing: Cranberries -Ode to my family
I don't know what is happening to our class. I can only hope it's a virus or something. But, I have seen 6 (yes that's right...6!!!!) of my classmates either pass out or almost pass out in the last week!!!! The first one was pretty scary (well, you can read Josh's Blog - http://josh.blogs.com/israel/ to read more about Sara's fainting adventures) but we thought that it was a totaly one time thing. Then, last Saturday, during Shabbat morning services, my friend David felt like he was going to pass out and got all hot and cold at the same time. No fun.
Then, today during services my classmate Erin G. was giving her D'var Torah and she kept pauing in weird places. Finally, she stopped (in the middle) and closed her eyes and looked like she was going down when some people behind her came to help her out of the synagogue. Then, perhaps in reaction to that, her roomate Jen (who I was sitting next to) was feeling like she wasn't doing so well and had to sit down for a while. And at lunch, we had another one almost go down!!!!
I'm telling you...it's a little unnerving. The doctors think it's either dehydration or a bug or something, but the scary part is that most everyone who this has happened to has felt fine beforehand. So I think people sort of have this feeling of like: who's gonna be next?
I, luckily, feel fine. I'm not a fainter, have never felt in my life like I was going to faint, and so I'm not too worried about it. Besides, people's bodies deal really differently with different germs (or whatever this is) so I'm just trying to get plenty of sleep, drink lots and lots of fluids, eat well, and not share anything with anyone. The truth is, there's not much else to do. The bizarre thing is that this is happening at another school here in Jerusalem. So whatever it is, hopefully this is the last of it!!! Thank goodness for Hannukah break that's coming up soon.

I'm not going anywhere for break...I'm staying here and I'm going to be on lockdown!!! My brother is coming next tuesday and so I want to get a lot of papers and work out of the way before his arrival. That, and just resting and chilling out a lot.
Okay, off to go be productive for the night!!!!
Everyone be well and take care of yourself...and if you feel lightheaded....for goodness sake...sit down!!!!!

Choice through Knowledge
Now Playing: Craig Taubman - Shalom Rav
So today, I let it all out. I totally let what's been building up inside of me for the last five months out. It was like word vomit. (Why do I love the movie "Mean Girls" so much that I have to quote it in everything I do????) I will try my best to get the highlights out to you, but keep in mind that it was about a 2 hour conversation with many, many different people about a wide variety of topics. So if you are brave enough, read on.

I'm going to be the first one to publicly say...am I in a Reform Jewish Seminary that supports choice through knowledge? Maybe the institute does, but does everyone in this institute support the personal choices that I make? Like my last entry, I talked a lot in my outburst today about choices and making them during T'fillot. For example, there are some things that I, and my classmates, are doing this year that we've never done before and that we might not ever do again. So...why do we do it? I am not against learning this year..not by any means. In fact, quite the opposite. I think it is important that we learn as much as we can about the traditions Judaism has, across the board. But then we, as Reform Jews, need to have the tolerance to say to each other "WE CHOOSE TO/NOT TO DO THIS!!!!" And we need to respect other people's choices.
I was talking to one or two people about this, and I was getting so worked up and so adament about my positons, I was sort of drawing a crowd. And people were like, Amen Sister. Or...right on! Or...you go girl!!! It turns out I'm not the only one who feels this way. So why haven't we been vocal about it? Why do we keep saying the longer Birkat Hamazon at HUC events when there appear, to me, to be so many people that are uncomfortable with it? Why have I felt so swept into all of my new learning, that I forgot what my Judaism means to me...the ability to choose what feels right and meaningful and spiritual for me. And those of you that know me, know that I am a strong and confident person who is not afraid to speak my mind....so why has this been such a challenge for me? And if i'm struggling with all of this, who knows how other people are dealing with it.
I also think that it's very hush-hush this year, to veer away from traditonal Judaism and more towards the Reform Judaism that many of us know and are comfortable with, because we are in Israel, and some of us don't feel valid here as Reform Jews. Israelis don't understand progressive Judaism like Americans do. (Not that they alwasy do such a good job either...) People sometimes ask if we pray to Jesus, or are appalled that as a woman I have the nerve to become a rabbi. And so i think we are caught in these shells. We are trying to protect ourselves from the more hostile greater community of Jerusalem/Israel and we forget that we are here this year to experiement, to learn, and to choose. And that we shouldn't be afraid of making personal choices for ourselves, even if no single other student makes that same choice. I mean, isn't that the beauty of Reform Judaism???

I have this theory (that i developed today) that when people learn something new, they are impressed by it. They want to share it with others. It gives one the ability to say..hey, I know why we do this. For example...I understand now why before the Amidah some people take three steps backward, or why during some prayers people bow, or why people sit (or stand) during this prayer. And for some reason, it validates their actions to incorporate this newly learned piece of information. And maybe they feel that if they don't do the action that they have learned about, it means that they are uneducated, or invalid, or doing it wrong. But I think it's time we stop doing this. I think that we need to not only learn why things are done in Judaism, but also whether or not we WANT to incorporate these newly learned things into our Judaic or spiritual life. And if the answer is no..that's okay. And if the answer is yes...that's okay. Far be it from me to judge what is right or wrong for you.

So don't judge me or my actions either. I am simply making educated choices about my Judaism and the way I want to live my Judaic, spiritual, and personal life. And I'm telling you, world, I am no longer afraid to really start thinking about and making those choices. Choice through knowledge...there's nothing more powerful than that.

Prayer and the rabbinate
Now Playing: Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine
I had the best realization in liturgy the other day. We were debating some issues in the liturgy of Reform Judaism and whether current practices were similar to those of the old reformers. We talked a lot about what we know as individuals, what we think the movement does liturgically and where we think the Reform/Progressive Movement of Judaism is headed. And the truth is, right now is a very exciting time, liturgically speaking, for Reform Judaism. A new prayerbook is in the works (even though there are many drafts out there) called "Mishkan T'fillah" and in the next few years, the Reform Movement will have adopted this book as our prayerbook. In fact, my class is the first HUC class to be using this book, rather than Gates of Prayer, to learn from and conduct our services from. This all caused me to think about the evolution of prayer and liturgy and about how me and my contemporaries are going to be very influential in the next several years, in terms of the liturgy that we use, the minhag that we develop from using this prayerbook and the liturgy included in it, and the views we have about using this new prayerbook. What an empowering and inspirational feeling!!!! There is such a positive energy in knowing that I get to make decisions in the next several years with this sort of brand new slate, and that I truly am the future leadership of Reform Judaism!!!! I mean, I knew all of this already, but it was so refreshing to have this ephiphany in liturgy class...to know that what i ma studying and what I am doing really has a greater significance to it than just me earning grades and getting training for a profession.

Reform Judaism, I am proud to say, has come to be a kind of Judaism that deals a lot with choice. Choice through knowledge. I am learning so much this year, and i know that i may not always do or feel comfortable with all that I am learning and the new customs that are old traditions for some but new for me. But that's the beauty of choice...when you know what things are for, why they are there, and what their purpose is, that's when you get to make your choice. Is this right for me? Do I want to be this type of rabbi or that type of rabbi? In cantorial class the other day, someone made a comment about knowing why we do things so that with confidence we can say "I understand that we do it this way, but I CHOOSE not to do that." I think that this year I forgot all about my love of choice in Reform Judaism. Like I'm afraid to reject things that are uncomfortable for me because I am learning that they are in place for a reason. Just because they are there and NOW I know about things I didn't know before, doesn't neccesarily mean that I have to chose to do those things. I can't be afraid of choosing what feels right for me. Because if I am not empowered to make choices that are right for me, as a future Jewish clergy person, how will others gain the confidence to do it for themselves? None of us should be afraid of making choices that are different from others...in school, in work, in life.

Shtuff
Now Playing: Jackson 5 - ABC
Well, on Saturday night we had our second Beit Cafe (talent show) and Joel Nickerson and I MC'd the event. It was tons of fun!!! The acts were are really great and we saw some serious talent!!! Joel and I had a lot of fun telling jokes, dancing, and performing our interperative trope scenes. Trope, for those of you that don't know, are the signs that tell you how to chant the Torah, and Joel and I decided to make up a love story, chanting only trope. It was quite funny, if I do say so myself. The cantor that teaches us non-cantorial students trope had specifically requested that we do it, so we were more than happy to oblige her!!! I posted new pictures that show a lot of the stuff I did that night, so be sure to check it out!!!

Tonight I went to a Weight Watchers meeting after not having been in about three weeks. The problem is that we have these professional forums right before my meetings, and I really usually enjoy these forums at school (and well...they are mostly required) so sometimes I just don't get to my meetings as much as I would like. But I had to go tonight just because I hadn't been in so long. Last time, I gained a few hundred grams, and this time I lost a few hundred. I have officially hit a plateau...and it's not GOOD! I can't seem to lose weight in this country!!!!! Now true, i'm not really gaining...I'm just sort of maintaining, but it's so frustrating. I am working out a ton, really trying to watch what I am eating...yet, my body is sort of like: forget you, i'll do what I want! Which, apparently, is just not losing weight.
Now, I know it's sounds obsessive, talking about weight loss on an online journal...but the truth is that I think it's much better being concerned about it and thinking about it rather than just letting it go. People who have been in WW (which i'm finding out everyday is more and more of you) know what I'm going through...the joys and the frustrations and the benefits of it all. I just wish I could figure out how to start getting on the LOSING side again. Any suggestions?????

Other than that, not much else is new. I can't believe it's almost December already. This month is going to be busy with end of the semester stuff (which means PAPERS!!!!), my brother coming to visit for two weeks, finals, etc. So hopefully I can just stay chill and get all my work done, and keep cracking the jokes and smiling....well, that last part shouldn't be hard...it's what I do!!!

Speaking of which...I'm off to go study for my liturgy test like it's my job....oh wait....

An UPDATE!!!!
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Counting Crows- Big Yellow Taxi
Okay, I'm a bad, bad person. I know. I haven't updated since the beginning of the month, and it's been killing you...I know!!! Well, much has happened, and I've been so busy that I've barely had two minutes to myself, let alone time to sit down and write a whole entry. But, now it's catch-up time!!
A few weeks ago the president of our college came and spent the weekend with us here. He's a very personable and lovely man, and I enjoyed getting to know him. I think he enjoyed getting to know me too...let's just say, we had a few *funny* interactions!!! Never a dull moment around here!
I also went to the Israeli rabbinical ordination that weekend. It was very different from American HUC ordinations, but it was very nice and very emotional (especially when I kept thinking about my own ordination).
Last week, my entire class went on a trip up north to see the mystical town of Tzfat, and to spend a few nights in Haifa. Of course, there were many other stops along the way which were quite enjoyable, and the bus ride was entertaining as always, but it was really Haifa that I loved most. We spent one day at the Leo Baeck Institute and it was really a beautiful (with a beautiful view of the Mediteranean Sea) and interesting educational center. I stayed there and worked out, and then we had shabbat services and dinner there that night. And unlike Jerusalem, bars and clubs are actually open in Haifa on Friday night, so about 10 of us went out that night to a fun bar and had a good time. Coming back to Jerusalem was a little difficult because it had been such a beautiful mini-vacation, but it was also nice to come back home.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. It wasn't as hard to be out of the US for this holiday as I thought it would be. My family has never made a HUGE deal out of it, so it's not like I was missing some longstanding family tradition or anything. But I was lucky enough to go to a beautiful Thanksgiving Dinner at my friend Josh, Joel, and David's apartment with about 15 other classmates. We had such a good time, and spent a little time talking about what we were thankful for and stuff and it was just a really nice time to reflect on the year so far, my life, my family and my friends, and all sorts of warm fuzziness!
I was supposed to go to a kibbutz this weekend to help lead services for the High school NFTY exchange students here for the semester, but they ended up not needing me so I get to catch-up on some sleep and some work today!! WOOHOO!!!

The weather in Jerusalem has taken an unexpected turn for the worse. All of a sudden it became winter. Now, it's not that it's SOOOO cold (hello I'm from the midwest, I understand cold winters!) but it's that it is soooo windy here and that the buildings are not meant to keep in heat...in fact, they are meant to do the opposite. Because Israel is so HOT for much of the year, the buildings are designed to keep cool and keep heat out. That, and my building only turns on heat from like 5-10 at night. So I went out and bought some space heaters (with the help of Sara Reichenbach and her car!!!) They aren't great, but at least I'm staying pretty warm at night. It also rains a lot here!!! I guess winter here is sort of like early March in the states..but it's just so COLD!!! BRRRRR!!!!

Okay, I'm off to go be productive before shabbat!
Happy Thanksgiving and have a great weekend!!!!

" I bent my wookie"
Now Playing: Indigo Girls- Closer to Fine
So yesterday I burnt my hand. Don't worry...I'm fine!!!!! I was rounding a corner trying to be very careful with my newly poured boiling hot water and my friend Seth accidently bumped into me. The water went all over my hand. At first, my friend David went to go get me some ice, but apparently you don't put ice on a burn. So then I went looking for a first-aid kit, because the burning feeling wasn't going away. Well after going from Na'amah, to Rose, to Dina at the front desk, to the Security Guard station, I found the first-aid kit. While looking through it with only one hand, I realized that there was no burn cream in there. Great. By then, I had amassed a crowd at the front entrance area of HUC (which included some random woman who kept telling me the most un-helpful stuff about my burn). Finally it was decided that I should go to the pharmacy down the street, but I didn't have my wallet with me so Cantor Tamar was nice enough to accompany me and spoke wonderful hebrew to the pharmacist. All I remember them saying was "Acshav!" which means now (in reference to my immediate need for the cream) and something about putting it on 3-4 times a day. I was literally almost on the verge of tears, my hand was hurting so much, and so it was nice that someone else took care of the situation for me, seeing as how I just wasn't with it so much at that specific point in time. Much thanks to everyone's involvement yesterday.
I am happy to report that my hand feels fine today, and there was no blistering or scars or anything. WHEW!!!! Hey, at least I didn't have to go to the emergency room!!!!

In other news, I've been working out like crazy lately and I've actually really been enjoying it. My workout buddy, Rochelle, is in the states this week for her mom's bat mitzvah, but she'll be back soon enough (and hopefully impressed at my ever-increasing endurance levels). I don't know...it's like, for the first time in my life, I can really run and I can run for a long time, and I can walk so fast for like an hour or so and it doesn't make me unbearably tired...and it's a nice feeling. It totally relieves stress, it boosts my energy levels, and it is a good end to my day. Those health magazines really don't lie (well, at least not about this)....the benefits are great!!! WHo knows, maybe I'll even start training for a marathon or something....well, maybe not just yet....but someday....someday.....

Sometimes when I'm doing errands around town, I stop and think about the fact that I am in this totally foreign country, doing such normal things like paying my bills, or having copies of keys made (for my roof, people...don't worry, it's nothing illegal!) or ordering food at a restaurant and doing it all entirely in a different language. It's really a very liberating and exhilirating feeling. I like that my life is here. I feel comfortable living this life this year. I'm not so sure if I'd be totally comfortable if it were longer than a year...but the year's been good to me so far, and I can only see it becoming more and more comfortable as the year goes on.

The president of our college is coming to Jerusalem this week (in fact, he may already be in town) and it'll be interesting to meet him. He's addressing us on Thursday, and then we have a dinner with him on Friday night. I'm sure I'll write more about that later, once I actually get to meet him and hear what he has to say to us.

It seems like a lot of my classmates have been getting sick lately. There's a stomach thing going around that I have managed to avoid so far, and bronchitis, and just general yuckiness. When I was at IU, I used to call this the mid-semester blah's. Our bodies are just tired, and we don't take care of ourselves well enough, and don't have breaks in sight, in order to recouperate. But, and those of you that don't know me so well (or have never lived with me) might be surprised by this, I will never, EVER sacrifice my sleep time. I WILL get a full 7-8 hours of sleep a night...no matter what. That's why I'm not a procrastinator...I must figure and use all my time wisely so that I can get enough sleep every night. No staying up till dawn doing work for me. Now, admittedly, I often will get up early and do some work that I can do quickly in the morning, or review for a test(because that's when I am my freshest) and I have always been like that, ever since high school. But I think that my sleep habits are what help me from getting really sick. It's a great way to take care of yourself and ensure that your body gets the break it needs from your daily activities.

Speaking of which...why am I not in bed yet?????
G'night...I'm off to dreamland!!!! More updates to come soon!!!!!