I always knew that leaving Israel at the end of this year would be hard. I knew I would cry a lot and that it would be difficult. But I never imagined the pain of saying goodbye. I never thought that my heart would tear a little each time I had to say goodbye. I never thought about the unexpected but totally logical cries. Lisa Shapanka made me cry a lot. Stephanie made me burst into tears, just by hugging her goodbye. When I had to say goodbye to Erin Ellis (one of my study group partners) I couldn't let go of her. And it's not that I won't see any or all of these people again in my life. Of course i will. That's not the point. It's that our experience together in Israel is over. All the good, all the bad, being in class with such a wide variety of people...that is what I will miss. The everyday school life. Knowing exactly where these people are coming from and being a part of their family...of the HUC family. I
I know this is a graduate school, but it's also a real community that we have here. It's more than school, we've all built our lives together here this year, and I'm only taking about 14 of those people with me to Cincinnati next year. And that's hard to swallow.
I've started packing, but I can't quite seem to ever finish it. I'm leaving in 48 hours, and I'm still not so packed. It's psychological I think. Getting on the plane won't be hard, getting off the plane won't be hard either. It's these goodbyes that are killing me. I just wish the pain would ease...but I know it won't until I go home and really get to stop being sad and get to celebrate my year here in Israel. But for now, I can't seem to stop feeling like I'm on the verge of tears.
It's just been that good.