Now Playing: Dido- Thank you
Right now in this moment, I can't help but recall that line from the end of the movie City Slickers when Billy Crystal has finally found his smile again, looks at his wife and says "this is my best day". In 24 hours I've been able to witness the miracle of a brand new human life, of his overjoyed new mother whom I've never seen look so happy and content in her whole life, to studying for and taking a final (which went SOOOO well) to saying a prayer for finishing my studies this year (followed by a vodka shot in the student lounge with my fellow classmates), to spending the whole day shopping and hanging with Karen, to packing and hanging out with my classmates tonight, and getting to spend some really quality time with some of my classmates that I really like but don't spend much time with, to coming home to an e-mail from my best friend telling me how much he loves me and misses me. I couldn't ask for anything more. I just couldn't.
It's all over. I'm done with school this year, I leave in a few days, and I can't even begin to express my sadness in leaving. I keep looking around, trying to preserve everything in my memory, trying to pretend like i won't be back in the states in 4 days. ANd it's not that I don't want to return, or see the people I've missed so much this year. It's just that I'm not ready to give up my life yet. I've built a life here this year, I've had classmates that have become friends and family and have supported me and that I've supported and invested time in. How can I leave all that???
It's hard as people are leaving before me. The goodbyes are really hard. And I can imagine a few that will be extrememly difficult for me in the next few days too.
But when I get sad about leaving, I think of all I've gained this year, and there's no need to be sad. And as my mom says, it wouldn't be so hard if it hadn't been so fabulous...so you should be lucky for that. And as Karen says (although I'm pretty sure she stole it from somewhere else): It's supposed to be hard. If it weren't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great!
And she's right. As hard as this all is, I can look back at the past 24 hours and feel blessed to have such a range of emotions and experiences and memories. Now imagine a whole year of some of these 24 hours. In a lot of years, this whole year was a bunch of 24 hour experiences. Ups, downs, intensities.
"This....was my BEST day....."